I have been searching for a place for Killian and I to volunteer this holiday season, and am getting really frustrated at the choices available, or lack thereof. I had visions of us serving up soup or handing out food boxes to needy families, but everything I find says that kids need to be at least 14 to volunteer for anything. On one hand, I understand that there are liabilities in allowing children to volunteer but at the same time....argh! It seems like the best time to start children volunteering is when they are young, when their minds are most impressionable, when helping others can be imprinted on their hearts. Sure, I do what we can in our day to day lives to model kindness to others in front of the kids. We have helped lost children in stores find their mom/dad, told the woman driving next to us that her trunk was open, stopped to help someone who has dropped their groceries, let people go in front of us in line, and on and on. Those are very small acts, to be sure. But its easy to forget what a huge difference we can make in someone else's life with just a kind word or gesture. Its "easier" and accepted in our culture to stay silent, or "let someone else deal with it". That's not the model I want to be for my children.
I think a lot of these feelings come from my experiences when I was homeless as a youth. I was dirty, dread locked, pierced and hung out with a crowd of the same. I slept under bridges, ate out of dumpsters, and carried my life in a pack on my back. There were so many times that people would cross the street with their children when they would see us sitting on the sidewalk spare changing. They would wrinkle their noses at our unwashed clothes, and stare in disgust at the piercings and tattoos we adorned our bodies with. Some would walk by and immediately dismiss us as people worthy of kindness, simply because we looked and lived differently then they did. But every once in a while, along came a person who looked past all of the outside differences, and instead saw us as just as fellow humans who needed their kindness. I still remember hopping off a train in Austin, Texas one night and making the long walk into town to spare change for some dinner, and a couple beers if we were lucky. My traveling partner and I were sitting on the side of the street totally dirty and exhausted from the train ride when a business man approached us, complete with suit, tie and briefcase. He stopped and looked at us for a moment, and then asked "You guys hungry?" Heck ya, we replied. He said "Follow me" and took us around the block to a fancy little Italian restaurant. He got us a table, and told us to order whatever we wanted. I don't remember the conversation, or how the encounter ended, but I will never forget that business man taking 30 minutes out of his life to offer a warm meal and a kind word to two kids who really needed it. Same goes for the guy who pulled over on the freeway early one evening to talk to us. Seems he had seen us that morning on his way to work, trying to hitchhike from Austin to San Antonio. Clearly, we hadn't made it anywhere because we were still there on his way home from work. He picked us up, took us to his house, offered us a shower and bought us dinner. He took a huge risk, one that I cant say I would take, but we so appreciated his kindness. The people who saw us sitting on the side of the street, and would come back 15 minutes later with a plate of hot food from the restaurant down the street, the hippie on Haight Street in SF that gave me a couple quarters...and came back with a $100 bill because "I needed it more than she did". The people who gave us food for our dogs, change for our pockets, or just the people who didn't cross the damn street when they saw us ahead. They all left a mark on my heart, and I hope that I never ever forget the kindness they showed. I want that for my kids, I want them to know that outward appearances, and the difference in our situations don't make us any better. All people are worth a smile, a nod, a kind gesture. So, this Christmas we will find a place to volunteer and help someone, age limits or not. We will give our change to the red pot bell ringers. We will offer to let people cut in front of us during the crazy holiday shopping. And when we see a homeless person sitting on the side of the street...we wont cross it. My kids will deliver them a hot chocolate and a dollar while I stand back, proud as heck of the little people I have brought into this world.
I think a lot of these feelings come from my experiences when I was homeless as a youth. I was dirty, dread locked, pierced and hung out with a crowd of the same. I slept under bridges, ate out of dumpsters, and carried my life in a pack on my back. There were so many times that people would cross the street with their children when they would see us sitting on the sidewalk spare changing. They would wrinkle their noses at our unwashed clothes, and stare in disgust at the piercings and tattoos we adorned our bodies with. Some would walk by and immediately dismiss us as people worthy of kindness, simply because we looked and lived differently then they did. But every once in a while, along came a person who looked past all of the outside differences, and instead saw us as just as fellow humans who needed their kindness. I still remember hopping off a train in Austin, Texas one night and making the long walk into town to spare change for some dinner, and a couple beers if we were lucky. My traveling partner and I were sitting on the side of the street totally dirty and exhausted from the train ride when a business man approached us, complete with suit, tie and briefcase. He stopped and looked at us for a moment, and then asked "You guys hungry?" Heck ya, we replied. He said "Follow me" and took us around the block to a fancy little Italian restaurant. He got us a table, and told us to order whatever we wanted. I don't remember the conversation, or how the encounter ended, but I will never forget that business man taking 30 minutes out of his life to offer a warm meal and a kind word to two kids who really needed it. Same goes for the guy who pulled over on the freeway early one evening to talk to us. Seems he had seen us that morning on his way to work, trying to hitchhike from Austin to San Antonio. Clearly, we hadn't made it anywhere because we were still there on his way home from work. He picked us up, took us to his house, offered us a shower and bought us dinner. He took a huge risk, one that I cant say I would take, but we so appreciated his kindness. The people who saw us sitting on the side of the street, and would come back 15 minutes later with a plate of hot food from the restaurant down the street, the hippie on Haight Street in SF that gave me a couple quarters...and came back with a $100 bill because "I needed it more than she did". The people who gave us food for our dogs, change for our pockets, or just the people who didn't cross the damn street when they saw us ahead. They all left a mark on my heart, and I hope that I never ever forget the kindness they showed. I want that for my kids, I want them to know that outward appearances, and the difference in our situations don't make us any better. All people are worth a smile, a nod, a kind gesture. So, this Christmas we will find a place to volunteer and help someone, age limits or not. We will give our change to the red pot bell ringers. We will offer to let people cut in front of us during the crazy holiday shopping. And when we see a homeless person sitting on the side of the street...we wont cross it. My kids will deliver them a hot chocolate and a dollar while I stand back, proud as heck of the little people I have brought into this world.