Have you ever noticed that baby toys are, for the most part, not gender specific? Sure there is the odd plush baby doll or train car, but most baby toys are meant to be appealing to all babies...not specific to boy or girl.
But when the little babies hit toddler hood, everything changes. Suddenly you know the girl stuff because its pink, yellow or some shade of pastel. The boy stuff is blue, red or some other dark color. The theme starts changing now too. Now its dollies, ponies and dress up for girls. Cars, action figures and guns for boys. With few exceptions (crayola, board games and outdoor toys) most toys are now marketed directly to the gender of the child.
I have never really understood the "boys get guns, girls get dolls" way of thinking. To me, if they want to play with it, and its not sharp or obviously poisonous, why worry about if its "made" for a girl or a boy? When Killian was small, he would often request that I paint his toenails. This horrified every man I knew, for surely Killian would now turn out to be *gasp* gay. I didn't see the harm in it though, he wanted to have pretty toes...nothing more. Pretty innocent to a 3 year old, but strangely worrisome to grown ups. What are we so concerned will happen to our boys if they play with dolls? Will they want to nurture and coddle and *another gasp* be too sensitive? And if our girls play with GI Joe's? Will they then turn out to be dress hating bullies? And what if they did? Surely the world wouldn't end...
I like that my kids don't buy into the gender stereotypes. Killian will happily play with Rowan and her Polly Pockets for hours (only if he gets the blue cowgirl stuff though...I guess he has to have some standards). He love to play dress up with her, with fluffy feather boas, necklaces and.....swords and ninja costumes (they each have one....and look terribly fierce together). On the other hand, Rowan is completely at home doing "boy" things, not surprising since all her friends and cousins are boys. She loves to play Lego's, in fact she is asking for some Indiana Jones Lego's for her birthday. She likes Star Wars figures, monster truck toys, and big guns. Whenever one of them sees a toy and says "that's for a girl/boy" either they or I usually follow up with "but anyone could play with it". Even though it seems to be customary for American kids to stick to their own gender of toys, I have never understood who exactly is supposed to benefit from it.
I think that eventually Killian will stop playing with Rowans "girl" toys, only because that's what this society "expects" boys to do. And Rowan will probably start wanting barbies more than she wants Darth Vader. After all, our boys should be macho sports playing, car racing, tough talking guys. And our girls should be soft spoken, sweet and demure little ladies. Right? I sure hope not!
I want my kids grow up to be strong, self confident, kind adults. And if that means that Rowan turns out to be a tomboy who wants to play ice hockey and never wear a dress in her life then good for her. And if Killian wants to join the ballet troupe and wear pink dress shirts with purple polka dots....then good for him too. I hope that because we don't put limits on who they "should" be now, that they wont put those limits on themselves when they grown up....leaving them free to be who they really want to be. Pink sparkly toenails or not.
But when the little babies hit toddler hood, everything changes. Suddenly you know the girl stuff because its pink, yellow or some shade of pastel. The boy stuff is blue, red or some other dark color. The theme starts changing now too. Now its dollies, ponies and dress up for girls. Cars, action figures and guns for boys. With few exceptions (crayola, board games and outdoor toys) most toys are now marketed directly to the gender of the child.
I have never really understood the "boys get guns, girls get dolls" way of thinking. To me, if they want to play with it, and its not sharp or obviously poisonous, why worry about if its "made" for a girl or a boy? When Killian was small, he would often request that I paint his toenails. This horrified every man I knew, for surely Killian would now turn out to be *gasp* gay. I didn't see the harm in it though, he wanted to have pretty toes...nothing more. Pretty innocent to a 3 year old, but strangely worrisome to grown ups. What are we so concerned will happen to our boys if they play with dolls? Will they want to nurture and coddle and *another gasp* be too sensitive? And if our girls play with GI Joe's? Will they then turn out to be dress hating bullies? And what if they did? Surely the world wouldn't end...
I like that my kids don't buy into the gender stereotypes. Killian will happily play with Rowan and her Polly Pockets for hours (only if he gets the blue cowgirl stuff though...I guess he has to have some standards). He love to play dress up with her, with fluffy feather boas, necklaces and.....swords and ninja costumes (they each have one....and look terribly fierce together). On the other hand, Rowan is completely at home doing "boy" things, not surprising since all her friends and cousins are boys. She loves to play Lego's, in fact she is asking for some Indiana Jones Lego's for her birthday. She likes Star Wars figures, monster truck toys, and big guns. Whenever one of them sees a toy and says "that's for a girl/boy" either they or I usually follow up with "but anyone could play with it". Even though it seems to be customary for American kids to stick to their own gender of toys, I have never understood who exactly is supposed to benefit from it.
I think that eventually Killian will stop playing with Rowans "girl" toys, only because that's what this society "expects" boys to do. And Rowan will probably start wanting barbies more than she wants Darth Vader. After all, our boys should be macho sports playing, car racing, tough talking guys. And our girls should be soft spoken, sweet and demure little ladies. Right? I sure hope not!
I want my kids grow up to be strong, self confident, kind adults. And if that means that Rowan turns out to be a tomboy who wants to play ice hockey and never wear a dress in her life then good for her. And if Killian wants to join the ballet troupe and wear pink dress shirts with purple polka dots....then good for him too. I hope that because we don't put limits on who they "should" be now, that they wont put those limits on themselves when they grown up....leaving them free to be who they really want to be. Pink sparkly toenails or not.
