It's been about 5 months since we said goodbye to Ruger, and I don't think there has been a single day that's gone by that I haven't thought about him. There have been countless nights where I have cried to Matthew about how much I miss him. That first week that he was gone, I felt like his ghost was in the house - I kept hearing the jingle of his dog tags, and kept looking at the clock thinking "its almost time to feed Ruger" or "better let Ruger out to go potty". Then reality would sink in, and I would have a rush of sadness overwhelm me. It was really, really hard and though time has eased the pain a little, I find myself still thinking about him more often than I thought I might at this point.
Two weeks after we lost Ruger, Greta, the specialist that had helped diagnose his neurological/genetic problems, sent me an email. She said that she knew this might be too soon, but that if we were interested, she knew of a fantastic breeder of Golden Retrievers that had a litter due to be born in a couple weeks. She said these pups came from amazing therapy dog lines, that they were mentally and physically sound, and that they would make an amazing family dog for us. She said to just delete the message if we weren't ready yet, and after sending a nice reply saying thanks, but no thanks, that's exactly what I did. I felt like we couldn't even begin to consider that right then, not with the hole in our hearts so big, and the loss of Ruger so sudden. However, Matthew and I had already briefly talked about trying again in a year or two, so I filed away the breeders name and information and went on with the process of healing.
Fast forward to the beginning of this month. For the most part I had been able to begin letting go of my sadness, and found myself not thinking about Ruger quite as much as I used too. But then one day I sort of fell apart. On my way to pick up milk, I saw a police search going on and they had a German Shepherd out working that looked SO much like Ruger - I was suddenly in tears driving down the road thinking about him. Then when I got home, one of my best friends posted pictures on Facebook of the two absolutely adorable puppies that she had just brought home. The ache in my heart that night was overwhelming. I bawled to Matthew about how much I missed Ruger, about how unfair it was that other people got to have dogs and we didn't (not rational, I know) and on and on about how much I missed our little guy. I decided that I was going to set up an appointment with the breeder that Greta had recommended, so that we could meet her and her dogs and get the ball rolling to get a puppy next summer.
I hemmed and hawed for a couple weeks about calling her - I just kept putting it off and waiting for another day. Then one morning, this feeling overcame me that I had to call her right. that. minute. I did, and as we were talking, she mentioned that she had puppies available from her current litter, ready to go home on December 22nd. Since we weren't planning on getting one until next summer, I didn't really linger on that subject. We continued talking, and I told her about Greta and everything that had happened with Ruger. She mentioned that she had a puppy in training with Greta, and after a pause she said that she had made the decision that very day to sell that particular puppy - a 4 month old little girl named Sugar. She had kept her out of a previous litter with plans to show and eventually breed her because she had absolutely everything going for her - fantastic genes, an amazing temperament, and beautiful structure. I found myself wishing that the timing was different, because everything she was saying to describe the puppy was *everything* we were looking for in a dog. We talked some more, and made plans to meet a few days later so we could get to know her before next summer. I knew we weren't planning on getting a puppy right now, but I couldn't get what she had told me about Sugar out of my head, and something possessed me to send an email to Greta that night. I asked her what she thought about Sugar and if she would be a good match for us. I was very clear that we probably wouldn't be interested, and that I was really mostly just curious what she thought. Matthew didn't have the same curiosity as I did though,because when I mentioned what Trisha had told me about the puppy that night, he was 100% against the idea of another dog right now. He brought up good points - it was a bad time of year, December, with all the other things we had going on. We already have a hotel booked at the beach in the spring, what would we do with the dog while we were there (the hotel doesn't allow dogs over 25 pounds). We have a trip to southern California planned in a few months - a week long adventure with the kids...a dog would absolutely not fit into those plans. I countered with all sorts of but's; but the puppy was already 4 months old so she wouldn't be as much work as a teeny little one and she had all her shots so she could join us on our Christmas adventures. But she already knew a bunch of commands, and was way ahead of the game on obedience. But she would be 8 or 9 months old already by the time we went to California, and we would be able to kennel her with no worries since she would be older. But, but, but. Matthew wasn't having any of it though - NO DOGS he said. I went to bed feeling really sad, because this puppy really felt "right" to me. But, I do tend to rush headlong into things, with no regard for consequences and no real plan of action, so I had to concede that Matthew was right about the timing, and that maybe we just weren't ready to try this again so soon.
The next morning, I woke up to an email from Greta gushing about how amazing Sugar was, and how perfect she thought she would be for our family. Then I logged into Facebook, and saw a post from the breeder with her puppy for sale ad. It had pictures of Sugar, and a list of everything she could do and already knew. I told Matthew "I am not trying to change your mind, or pressure you - but just do me a favor and read these". He finished reading, and turned to me with a look in his eyes...and I knew we were getting a puppy! He agreed that she sounded to perfect to pass up on - how often do you get the chance to have the puppy that the breeder picked out for herself because the dog was just that perfect? We called the Trisha back, and asked if we could come that evening to look at her - all of a sudden this was moving along really fast and we were really worried that someone else was going to buy her. She laughed at our urgency, and told me that after talking to me that first time she had been secretly hoping that we would want Sugar, so she had been stalling on all the emails she got from other people who wanted to buy her in the hopes that we would change our minds and take her. I knew then that this was totally meant to be - the timing, the fact that the day I finally got around to calling was the day that she decided to sell her, the fact that Sugar was in training with Greta, someone who knew us already and could assure us that this would be a perfect match, and that Trisha actually wanted us to be the home for this wonderful dog. Even more weird? Sugar was from the very litter that Greta had originally encouraged us to get a puppy from way back in August. Seems that she was meant to be with us, someway, somehow. Thinking of how slim the chances were that this would happen, and how it managed to happened anyways....mind BLOWN.
We arranged to come out that evening to take a look at her. We didn't want to get the kids' hopes up, so we told them the original plan - that we were just going to look at puppies and the dogs so that we could get one next year. When we got there Sugar came out to meet us, fresh out of the bath and fluffy and cute as could be. It was love at first sight. We went in and talked to Trisha for a while, but I was having a hard time concentrating on anything other than that little girl. I couldn't believe that this was happening - we truly hadn't been thinking about this or planning on it at all, but I was so excited. We kept up the ruse for the kids - they had no idea what was really going on. They went out to the car with Matthew while I paid for her and made plans to come pick her up a couple days later. It was going to be a big surprise for them, and I got more confirmation that this was right when we were driving home and both kids sighed and said they wished that we could have taken that puppy Sugar with us tonight, and how much they would love to have a dog just like her. Matthew and I had a hard time concealing our smiles!
On Sunday morning, the kids checked their advent calendar to find the mysterious message " Today you will get to share a sweet surprise". They were so excited about what it could be (of course candy was their first guess...they are forever hopeful). I said I had to go run some errands, and instead drove straight out to pick Sugar up. When we got home,I called Matthew from the driveway, and he told the kids their surprise was there and to sit on the couch and cover their eyes. I handed Sugar off to Matthew and grabbed my camera - the pictures tell the rest of the story!
They were SO shocked! They kept saying stuff like "is she really ours" and "do we really get to keep her"?!?! They were absolutely beside themselves with excitement, and it was one of the most awesome moments of my life seeing them so happy and overcome with joy.
♥ Killian, Rowan and Sugar ♥
After playing with her for a while, the kids got to work on building her a fort. Because every puppy needs their very own fort, right? They worked hard on design, cutting and taping, while Sugar assisted in being cute:
They made this sign for the fort which I thought was so awesome - bone it up baby!!
A close up:
Sugar, having fun exploring her new house. Porter, not so sure she likes this little newcomer:
Sugar, with her cute little girly bows that quickly fell out and almost got eaten:
Looking beautiful in the sunshine:
Sugar delighted with all the big sticks she is finding in her new yard!
Sugar and I, chilling at the computer:
Our sweet little girl:
We couldn't be more excited about her, and I am thanking my lucky stars that everything aligned just right to bring her into our lives. It was so hard losing Ruger, and we will always love him and never forget the time he spent with us. Sugar is here now to help us move on, to heal our sadness one puppy kiss at a time, and to expand our hearts more than we ever thought possible. She is, in a word, perfect. We love her so much already ♥
Two weeks after we lost Ruger, Greta, the specialist that had helped diagnose his neurological/genetic problems, sent me an email. She said that she knew this might be too soon, but that if we were interested, she knew of a fantastic breeder of Golden Retrievers that had a litter due to be born in a couple weeks. She said these pups came from amazing therapy dog lines, that they were mentally and physically sound, and that they would make an amazing family dog for us. She said to just delete the message if we weren't ready yet, and after sending a nice reply saying thanks, but no thanks, that's exactly what I did. I felt like we couldn't even begin to consider that right then, not with the hole in our hearts so big, and the loss of Ruger so sudden. However, Matthew and I had already briefly talked about trying again in a year or two, so I filed away the breeders name and information and went on with the process of healing.
Fast forward to the beginning of this month. For the most part I had been able to begin letting go of my sadness, and found myself not thinking about Ruger quite as much as I used too. But then one day I sort of fell apart. On my way to pick up milk, I saw a police search going on and they had a German Shepherd out working that looked SO much like Ruger - I was suddenly in tears driving down the road thinking about him. Then when I got home, one of my best friends posted pictures on Facebook of the two absolutely adorable puppies that she had just brought home. The ache in my heart that night was overwhelming. I bawled to Matthew about how much I missed Ruger, about how unfair it was that other people got to have dogs and we didn't (not rational, I know) and on and on about how much I missed our little guy. I decided that I was going to set up an appointment with the breeder that Greta had recommended, so that we could meet her and her dogs and get the ball rolling to get a puppy next summer.
I hemmed and hawed for a couple weeks about calling her - I just kept putting it off and waiting for another day. Then one morning, this feeling overcame me that I had to call her right. that. minute. I did, and as we were talking, she mentioned that she had puppies available from her current litter, ready to go home on December 22nd. Since we weren't planning on getting one until next summer, I didn't really linger on that subject. We continued talking, and I told her about Greta and everything that had happened with Ruger. She mentioned that she had a puppy in training with Greta, and after a pause she said that she had made the decision that very day to sell that particular puppy - a 4 month old little girl named Sugar. She had kept her out of a previous litter with plans to show and eventually breed her because she had absolutely everything going for her - fantastic genes, an amazing temperament, and beautiful structure. I found myself wishing that the timing was different, because everything she was saying to describe the puppy was *everything* we were looking for in a dog. We talked some more, and made plans to meet a few days later so we could get to know her before next summer. I knew we weren't planning on getting a puppy right now, but I couldn't get what she had told me about Sugar out of my head, and something possessed me to send an email to Greta that night. I asked her what she thought about Sugar and if she would be a good match for us. I was very clear that we probably wouldn't be interested, and that I was really mostly just curious what she thought. Matthew didn't have the same curiosity as I did though,because when I mentioned what Trisha had told me about the puppy that night, he was 100% against the idea of another dog right now. He brought up good points - it was a bad time of year, December, with all the other things we had going on. We already have a hotel booked at the beach in the spring, what would we do with the dog while we were there (the hotel doesn't allow dogs over 25 pounds). We have a trip to southern California planned in a few months - a week long adventure with the kids...a dog would absolutely not fit into those plans. I countered with all sorts of but's; but the puppy was already 4 months old so she wouldn't be as much work as a teeny little one and she had all her shots so she could join us on our Christmas adventures. But she already knew a bunch of commands, and was way ahead of the game on obedience. But she would be 8 or 9 months old already by the time we went to California, and we would be able to kennel her with no worries since she would be older. But, but, but. Matthew wasn't having any of it though - NO DOGS he said. I went to bed feeling really sad, because this puppy really felt "right" to me. But, I do tend to rush headlong into things, with no regard for consequences and no real plan of action, so I had to concede that Matthew was right about the timing, and that maybe we just weren't ready to try this again so soon.
The next morning, I woke up to an email from Greta gushing about how amazing Sugar was, and how perfect she thought she would be for our family. Then I logged into Facebook, and saw a post from the breeder with her puppy for sale ad. It had pictures of Sugar, and a list of everything she could do and already knew. I told Matthew "I am not trying to change your mind, or pressure you - but just do me a favor and read these". He finished reading, and turned to me with a look in his eyes...and I knew we were getting a puppy! He agreed that she sounded to perfect to pass up on - how often do you get the chance to have the puppy that the breeder picked out for herself because the dog was just that perfect? We called the Trisha back, and asked if we could come that evening to look at her - all of a sudden this was moving along really fast and we were really worried that someone else was going to buy her. She laughed at our urgency, and told me that after talking to me that first time she had been secretly hoping that we would want Sugar, so she had been stalling on all the emails she got from other people who wanted to buy her in the hopes that we would change our minds and take her. I knew then that this was totally meant to be - the timing, the fact that the day I finally got around to calling was the day that she decided to sell her, the fact that Sugar was in training with Greta, someone who knew us already and could assure us that this would be a perfect match, and that Trisha actually wanted us to be the home for this wonderful dog. Even more weird? Sugar was from the very litter that Greta had originally encouraged us to get a puppy from way back in August. Seems that she was meant to be with us, someway, somehow. Thinking of how slim the chances were that this would happen, and how it managed to happened anyways....mind BLOWN.
We arranged to come out that evening to take a look at her. We didn't want to get the kids' hopes up, so we told them the original plan - that we were just going to look at puppies and the dogs so that we could get one next year. When we got there Sugar came out to meet us, fresh out of the bath and fluffy and cute as could be. It was love at first sight. We went in and talked to Trisha for a while, but I was having a hard time concentrating on anything other than that little girl. I couldn't believe that this was happening - we truly hadn't been thinking about this or planning on it at all, but I was so excited. We kept up the ruse for the kids - they had no idea what was really going on. They went out to the car with Matthew while I paid for her and made plans to come pick her up a couple days later. It was going to be a big surprise for them, and I got more confirmation that this was right when we were driving home and both kids sighed and said they wished that we could have taken that puppy Sugar with us tonight, and how much they would love to have a dog just like her. Matthew and I had a hard time concealing our smiles!
On Sunday morning, the kids checked their advent calendar to find the mysterious message " Today you will get to share a sweet surprise". They were so excited about what it could be (of course candy was their first guess...they are forever hopeful). I said I had to go run some errands, and instead drove straight out to pick Sugar up. When we got home,I called Matthew from the driveway, and he told the kids their surprise was there and to sit on the couch and cover their eyes. I handed Sugar off to Matthew and grabbed my camera - the pictures tell the rest of the story!
They were SO shocked! They kept saying stuff like "is she really ours" and "do we really get to keep her"?!?! They were absolutely beside themselves with excitement, and it was one of the most awesome moments of my life seeing them so happy and overcome with joy.
♥ Killian, Rowan and Sugar ♥
After playing with her for a while, the kids got to work on building her a fort. Because every puppy needs their very own fort, right? They worked hard on design, cutting and taping, while Sugar assisted in being cute:
They made this sign for the fort which I thought was so awesome - bone it up baby!!
A close up:
Sugar, having fun exploring her new house. Porter, not so sure she likes this little newcomer:
Sugar, with her cute little girly bows that quickly fell out and almost got eaten:
Looking beautiful in the sunshine:
Sugar delighted with all the big sticks she is finding in her new yard!
Sugar and I, chilling at the computer:
Our sweet little girl:
We couldn't be more excited about her, and I am thanking my lucky stars that everything aligned just right to bring her into our lives. It was so hard losing Ruger, and we will always love him and never forget the time he spent with us. Sugar is here now to help us move on, to heal our sadness one puppy kiss at a time, and to expand our hearts more than we ever thought possible. She is, in a word, perfect. We love her so much already ♥